1) Buy two newspapers. Race to find the most horrifying story. Double points for catastrophic accidents that recently occurred on your route.
2) Try to cram more foreigners in a seat than deemed humanly possible. First one to get a dropped jaw from blase Guatemalans wins.
3) Convince your seatmate you only speak Chinese. Try to hold a conversation.
4) Persuade the ayudante to let you ride on the roof, as a cure for bus sickness.
5) Speak only in a Texan accent.
6) Pretend to be hard of hearing when your married seatmate hits on you. Break out your fake wedding ring and picture of your "son."
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